This past week has been a bit of a challenge for me. I have had this constant back and forth battle in my mind about Carson and school. I am so afraid that I am going to make the wrong decision that it has been weighing heavily on me. I finally had to tell Mike that I needed a little time to just sit down and figure some stuff out. So today that's what I did.
I started out by making a list of pros and cons about Carson going to public school vs. being home schooled. Here's what I basically came up with:
PUBLIC SCHOOLING:
PROS: CONS:
Free School dist. levy failed multiple times.
Socialization Bullying/ being picked on.
Therapies included Not being able to incorporate techniques
at home b/c I won't see them first hand.
Someone else is doing the work I won't know 100% he is safe.
Will require diapering.
Would need a 1-1 aide at all times.
Would require an IEP.
School is multiple levels with no
handicapped access.
Can't have a male teacher (terrified of
men.)
Half day kindergarten Can't ride regular bus.
Can't sit for long periods of time.
Very attached to me. Cries outside the
bathroom door.
HOME SCHOOL:
PROS: CONS:
No worries about bullying Can be expensive
No worries about diapering Will be time consuming
No worries about transportation He won't get a diploma
Can fit curriculum to his needs Will have to deal with school board
Flexible schedule No socialization
He will be more comfortable Will have to find therapies elsewhere
Can buy/find items and ideas
online
Can get help from my sister
He does better at home than school
now.
Will be with me or Mike
So that's the pared down list. My actual list has tons more things that are probably pretty petty and not really relevant. After I made the list I decided to get online just to see what I could find and I found A LOT. There are several companies where you can spend roughly $300-$600 and buy an entire year's worth of books, planners etc in a bundle. It even gives you a timeline etc. This made me feel so much better about things. I know there are things that Carson already knows and things that he will probably NEVER know. I'm okay with this. I am just happy that I now have a good starting point.
At this point I've already made the decision to just bite the bullet and apply to home school him. The superintendent of the school district will have 14 days to review my request and make a decision. Once (or if) I get the go-ahead then I will purchase one of these bundles and go from there. The way I figure it, it would be easier on him for me to try to home school him first and see if I can do it. If I can't or it becomes clear that it isn't the best thing for him then I can enroll him in school. I would much rather do that than send him to school and stress him out and have that turn out to be a disaster. I know that either way I am taking a risk. I just don't want to hurt him. For all I know, he may love school if I send him. This is why it has become such a hard decision for me. I don't want to brag on myself but I like to think that I am at least a little smart. I graduated with honors, in the National Honor Society and carried a 3.8 GPA. I know that was a while ago (15 years to be exact! UGH! I'm getting old!!) and things have changed but I still think that I can do a good job.
But aside from that, when I look at the pros and cons I just feel that unless he becomes significantly more mature or cognitively closer to his actual age then I'm sticking to my plan. Hell, I think even if he started talking or could communicate to me with his iPad how his day goes I would feel better about sending him to school. It's more just the fact that I would have to take the word of his teacher and/or aide that everything went okay and after seeing the woman on the news in Florida who soaked the crayons in hot sauce and purposely gave them to an autistic child just so they would eat them!!! No thanks. That woman was fired from the school district and then the courts just made them GIVE HER THE JOB BACK because she wasn't trying to punish the kid, just deter him from eating art supplies. And I know that is just one incident but I couldn't imagine being that child's parents.
I wish I had all the answers but I don't. We're back to school tomorrow and I still have to figure out a way to break the news to Amber that I think I'm just going to leave things the way they are. Wish me luck.
XX
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