Insomnia

One of my unfortunate side effects to Carson's diabetes has to be my insomnia.  I figured out very early on that if I had to check his blood sugar, say, 2 hours after he went to bed and I went to bed to sleep for those 2 hours I would either not hear my alarm or turn it off in my sleep.  It didn't matter if it was right next to my head or across the room.  So I went from trying to get some sleep here and there to sometimes having to stay up until 1 or 2 in the morning.  The bad part about that is that Miss B is typically an early riser.  Up until very recently she was up at 7 am on the nose every day well into July.  So I have been looking at roughly 5 hours of sleep a night.  Then when it's time for Carson to go to bed I'm bone tired but again have to stay up to check his blood sugar but when I CAN go to sleep I've missed that window and I have to wait to be tired again.  It's a never-ending battle. 

Then there are nights like tonight where I don't have to check him because his last insulin was administered at 7:30 so he was checked again at 10:30 and he was in the range where I don't have to give him more insulin for a correction so I'm up right now at 12:20 am for no reason other than I can't sleep.  I have been making the most of my quiet time when everyone else is in bed by working on my things for craft shows that start up here in about a month so it's not completely wasted time...it's just tired time.

Something else I don't think I've mentioned is the fact that I no longer sleep with Mike in our bed.  I haven't since about January.  For one, the bed is too comfy ( a sleep number bed) and again that's when I don't hear my alarm going off.  Secondly, I was literally pushed out of bed.  Our 160 lb Great Dane has now become the proud occupant to my side of the bed.  I simply got tired of fighting for space.  I probably shouldn't have given up so easily but with all the other shit I have to deal with on a daily basis fighting for a bed was the last thing I wanted to do.

My mom has repeatedly told me that I should make her get down and that's that.  Easier said than done.  She's smart enough to wait until you're good and asleep and then she'll slither in.  You don't even feel her.  Then you're waking up in the morning with your knees in your chin curled up into a ball because you just automatically move in your sleep to accommodate the other beings in your bed, dogs or otherwise.  (If you're a mom you'll understand that 100%).  So then shut the door she tells me.  That can't be done.  Carson will wake up in the middle of the night and come find me.  Happens every night.  He would seriously walk right into the door so that's a no-go.  So, I gave up. 

I now spend my nights with my little C-Man.  I got him a full sized bed a while ago and he doesn't seem to mind to share.  Aside from the comfort level I don't even miss my bed.  I think the next step will be to get a pull-out bed and sleep in the living room because as Carson gets bigger and he needs the bed space for himself.  Our dog is turning 2 so potentially she can live for another 10-12 years so who knows how long this will last.  I keep joking with Mike that I'm going to turn my craft room in the basement into my bedroom.  The sad thing is deep down I don't think I'm joking.  I've even looked at paint colors and thought about furniture placement.  Maybe that's just me dreaming of a little place where I can go to just unwind since it's been so long since I've had any time to myself.  Now that I literally have no one to watch both kids for me there's been little time for me.  Mike has watched the kids while I've gone to the grocery store but that's hardly a vacation.

Oh well.  Off to bed to see if maybe I can fall asleep.  Tomorrow is Saturday and Mike is off work so maybe I'll get lucky and be able to sleep until 8.  Fingers crossed.

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